Attachment: Working in a Hostel

graffiti in Veliko Tarnovo, Bulgaria

"Just don't get attached, okay?" he says and the frustration hits me instantly.

Attached? ATTACHED? He's concerned about ME getting attached to HIM?

I'll give him some credit: he may just be the most attractive man I have ever met.  A Justin Trudeau look-a-like but with a stronger jaw, if you can believe.  He had the perfect personality to match the face with a soft voice, strong arms, and a kind demeanor.  I could get attached to him if given the chance, but of course, I wouldn't give myself that chance.  If anything, he started to show signs of getting attached to me. Bringing me chocolate bars from the shop, paying for lunch, letting me keep his t-shirt.  I don't think he realized that this wasn't my first rodeo.

I take a slow breath so he can't see how angry his assumption makes me, as if it's inevitable that I'd develop a crush on him.  "I work in a hostel and have traveled to 20 countries alone.  I know how to not get attached." 

Working in a hostel is great.  I get to connect with so many people since being social with guests is an unspoken part of the job description.  I meet people I would be close friends with if we lived in the same town and guys I'd like to date if the circumstances were right.  But you never live in the same town as the person you can talk with for hours and the circumstances are never right. If I got attached to every nice and decently looking man that walked through those hostel doors, I'd be in deep trouble.

Working in a hostel (the same one I volunteered in for five weeks last summer...I really need to tell y'all that story) has taught me a lot about attachment and letting go. But it hasn't taught me what I was trying to insinuate to the assuming Canadian above.

I was trying to act nonchalant.  As if people walk out the front door, onwards to their next destination and I never give them a second thought.  I wanted him to think I was cold-hearted, the type of person that doesn't get hurt or miss people or care about much of anything. I wanted him to think I was a "cool girl", the type who doesn't fall hard and fast and often.

But that's not me at all.  I get attached all the time, to everyone and anything.  And even though I was trying to get him to believe a false version of me, he was also completely missing the point. Getting attached is the whole point of travel. 

Travel is pointless if you don't get attached, if you don't fall in love.  I get attached to cities, towns, hostels, people, bookstores.  Attached to the view of a city at sunset.  Attached to hostel cats and dogs.  I get attached to mountains, keep returning to them somehow, even though walking uphill is a bitch.

I understood what the attractive Canadian meant and why he felt the need to say it. He was a bit older and gorgeous and I'm sure he's used to girls falling in love with him all the time, but he needn't worry about me. 

The only part of him I'm attached to is the memory of the week he stayed at the hostel, of how he was only meant to stay two nights but kept extending because he also fell in love with the same mountains. 

I 100% recommend attaching yourself to everyone and everything.  Your life will be so much fuller because of it.

You Weren't the Best, Budapest

view from a bridge, Budapest

I tried so, so hard to love Budapest.  I'm adamant about the fact that there is good in every corner of the world and I found a lot of good in Budapest.  Gorgeous buildings, so much history, cheap food even near the main square, flavorful free-trade coffee for under $3, a hostel with a good vibe (make sure you stay at The Loft!). All the makings of a great city, but for some reason, Budapest and I just couldn't get along.

Let me take you back to my first time in Budapest.  I came to Budapest last year, 2017, at the very beginning of July. I had just spent 3 days in the beautiful High Tatras, Slovakia, and was nowhere near ready to leave that relaxing home in the mountains for a big city.  But I had to leave because I was meeting a friend in Budapest for 2 days and I desperately wanted to be around someone familiar.  On the train from Poprad to Kosice, I finally connect to the spotty wifi a few minutes after the train pulls away from the station when I get a message from my friend:

"EasyJet delayed and then canceled my flight. They can put me on another one but then that would only give me a few hours in Budapest before my flight to France. I'm sorry I won't be able to make it."

I wanted to hop off that train and run back to the Tatras, but I had a route that I was determined to stick to, friend or no friend.  I arrived in Budapest sad and alone.  I was used to traveling alone at that point, but I expected to spend time with a friend so the solitude felt way more evident.  Plus, booking a hostel at the last minute in Budapest means only shitty hostels no one wants to stay at are the only ones left. 

I went on a walking tour and didn't care. Tried to chat with people in the hostel but they had their own friends. Felt unsafe in the city at night so I stayed in. I left for Zagreb, Croatia after my two-night sentence was up. 

watching the England vs. Croatia game in a park

Flash forward a year and I'm reluctantly back in Budapest. I started this year's trip in Slovakia in order to give myself time to rest post-graduation. I also wanted to take things more slowly this time around. Travelling too quickly led to burnout last year, which is how I ended up in the mountains of Slovakia in the first place. 

I was determined to visit Romania and Bulgaria this year, since they were the two countries I "cut off" my travel list in order to make room for a month in Slovakia. However, in order to get from the High Tatras to Cluj, my first stop in Romania, I needed to have a layover somewhere in Hungary and Budapest was the easiest. I still felt hesitant about returning to Budapest after last year's debacle, so I looked into going to Debrecen or somewhere else in east Hungary.  With the way trains worked out, it would have been next to impossible, or at least way more tiring and difficult, to go from northern Slovakia to somewhere with a hostel in Hungary. So Budapest it was!

My second time in Budapest was much more eventful than the first. On my first day, I met up with people I met in Slovakia to watch the England vs. Croatia game in a park and went to a bar after. The next day, the same friend and I went to the thermal baths and got dinner. 

Even though this time involved more friends, activities, laughter, and drinking, I still felt unsettled. Budapest probably isn't the best place to go to after volunteering at the Monkey. It's like a shock to the system. A 1,000 person village versus a big city. Close friends that feel like family with lots of inside jokes versus strangers and a few acquaintances. Lowkey drinking beer on the front porch versus strobe lights and shots at a ruin bar. I was bound to have an adjustment period leaving a place I love no matter where I was headed, but Budapest, with its stag parties and groups of 18-year-old British lads, is probably one of the worst places to be when your heart is aching. 

I'll try you out again someday, Budapest. Just not anytime soon.  

Posting While Sedentary (Also, Where I'm Going This Summer)

Alternative title: should I post if I have nothing to say? If I'm not traveling?

I hate having my time wasted and I hate wasting other people's time.  But I feel like everything I read by (most) travel bloggers these days is just fluff.  Meaningless #hashtag content.  Like everyone is trying to fulfill their requirement of one Instagram post a day and two blog posts a week, nevermind if they even have new pictures or new stories to tell or new thoughts to share.

What bores me most about travel blogs is that people feel compelled to have a "point" for every single post.  A long layover in the Netherlands turns into "How to Spend 24 Hours in Amsterdam".  Visting a few cafes after a week in Paris turns into "The Best Cafes in Paris" as if they've had time to sit and contemplate them all.  I'm tired of everyone trying to have an angle. 

Just tell me about your day!

I want to see hastily taken pictures in a museum before security tells you to stop, shots of a flower that you thought was pretty.  What book did you read in that park you sat in for hours since your feet hurt and you couldn't bear the thought of walking one more kilometer to the metro? Were you having a nice day at a cool museum then, once you connected to the free Wifi, accidentally got into a text-argument with your best friend and now your thoughts of that museum and the artists you saw are tainted?

Believe it or not, I don't read travel blogs for useful information. Sounds ridiculous, but I'm sure most people relate.  If I want information, I use a guidebook or a tourism website. If I read a blog, I want to hear about your day. I'm sure I've retained information through osmosis of all I've read, but in my four-ish years of reading a few blogs a week, I've never actually, consciously used any of it while traveling.

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS that I don't want to post just for the sake of it.

Because I don't want to bore you.  Because you don't deserve to have your time wasted since everyone and their mother is trying to waste your time on the internet.

I've said all of that ^^^^ to preface this new information (although this info isn't new if you follow me on Twitter or Instagram):  I'm traveling again! Starting June 6th!

I will (hopefully) travel until late August or early September and I really don't have much planned.

The only definite is that I will be in Slovakia for a month, back at the hostel in the mountains that I ran back to last July when I needed a break. (I really need to update y'all on that story. I only wrote one post about it and never followed up with a part II. Oops!)

After Slovakia, there's a strong possibility that I'm going to China (Beijing, specifically) with my school for two weeks because my school is paying for it, even though I graduated!, and over my dead body will I ever turn down a free trip.

From there, who knows! I might have a long layover in Dubai on the way back from China. I was wary of the idea at first, but now that I looked into fun and reasonably priced desert tours I'm extremely excited at the thought. 

Once I'm back in Europe, I have no plans for a full month. I'm considering Moldova, Romania, and Bulgaria, but August in those countries might be too hot for me. That sounds like a dumb excuse, but last summer when I was in other south-ish eastern European countries, like Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Serbia, I was so miserably hot I couldn't fully appreciate my days. Hence my exodus to the High Tatras in Slovakia.  So I'm not going to let myself be miserable again if push comes to shove.  Maybe I'll go to Slovenia and do some chill hiking, or Latvia and Estonia. Who knows! I'll probably let Ryanair decide my next move.

Near the end of August, I'm heading to London to meet Poppy, an Australian friend that I met last summer in Slovakia. From there we'll take a night bus to Scotland and do some hiking.  I didn't expect to go back to Scotland this soon after leaving last year, but Poppy has never been and suggested we go. Similar to free trips to China, I will also never turn down an excuse to go back to Scotland.

From there, I'll (hopefully) follow her to Sweden where she's starting her master's degree and just chill for a bit.  For some reason, there are insanely cheap flights back to the US from Sweden compared to other places in Europe. How convenient!

That's my ~general plan~ but who knows how the next three months will unfold!  I had a plan for last summer too and I set fire to that only one month in.

Whatever happens, I'm going to blog about it.  In the most genuine, unselfconscious way possible. No forced angles to any of my stories. Not trying to pretend I'm an expert in anything, much less a city I've only spent a few days in.

I'm just a girl with a blog, standing in front of a Europe/China/UAE, asking them to love her.

detour to the Slovakian mountains, part 1

Photo by Tanvi Malik

I'm at an incredibly friendly hostel in Bratislava, right in the old town, but I can't be bothered to go socialize or see the city.

I acknowledge how lucky I am, but I'm bored.  I'm tired.  If I see one more building described as neo-classical or neo-gothic or neo-ANYTHING, I'm going to scream.  All I want to do is go see the new Wonder Woman at the cinema in the mall and figure out where to go next.

I'm in Bratislava because it was on my itinerary and because I'm on my way to meet my friend in Budapest.  A week ago I realized I was traveling too quickly, which is why I added 5 days in Munich, but I still have a few days to kill in between.  I could stay in Bratislava for a full week, but there's not much to keep you entertained in that town for more than 2 days.  I have to find somewhere to go.

---

Photo by Zach Taiji

I sit down on the toilet.  Usually an irrelevant tidbit, but this moment changed the course of my trip.  Right at eye level from sitting on the pooper is a flier for a hostel in northern Slovakia in the High Tatras.  The mountains are what intrigued me, but the 10/10 Hostelworld review and the promise of a dog are what convinced me.

Two days later and I'm on the train to Poprad.

I've stayed in some enjoyable hostels, but this one is definitely the best one I've ever been to.  Right after I get there, I'm invited out to dinner with a few other guests, which I find out later is a regular occurrence.  Restaurants are so cheap in this village you can get a meal for under 10 euros, and even that's on the higher end (I average on 6 euros or less).

This is the first place I've been where the hostel actually has a family-feel.  As someone who hasn't been home since the very beginning of January, it feels so nice to just sit around and have a laugh with friendly people.  This hostel is slightly out of the way (i.e., not on the main Eurotrip path), so it attracts what another guest called "the right kind of people."  No stag parties, no huge groups, long-term travelers (at least longer than a few weeks), and a lot of solo travelers.

Also, the mountains.  I forgot how much I missed them.  I don't live in the mountains in Virginia, I'm right smack dab in the middle of the state, but something about being in the mountains makes me feel more at home than anything else in the world.

I do a 25-kilometer hike on my first full day, by myself for the majority of it.  Hiking is tough for me, especially alone without any distractions, because I internally beat myself up most of the way.  Usually, my head is a pleasant place to be, but for some reason, strenuous physical activity brings out my inner critic more than anything.  What matters is that no matter how much I wanted to give up and turn around, I didn't.  Which is what I like about myself.  Even when I am my own worst enemy, I can't seem to give up.  I'm sure that's a trait that will help me out in life.

Days 2 and 3 were much more chill, only short walks with the dog by the river and over to the Goulash Man.

On Saturday I reluctantly leave the hostel in the 1,300 person village (smaller than my high school) for Budapest.  Now that I've rested for a few days, I feel rejuvenated enough to tackle more central and eastern European cities.

Right?