As every 20-something is wont to do, I spend a lot of time thinking about what I want to do with my life. As of this time last year I had a loose plan that I was satisfied with: teach in Korea for a second year, travel around southeast Asia for a bit, do a working visa in Australia and/or New Zealand. Pretty much figure things out as I go, but always having an idea of my "next" step.
But then we found out my uncle has a brain tumor, one that has a 14-month life expectancy from diagnosis, and I knew I had to come home. No more teaching, no more Korea, no more travels. Obviously being home is emotionally and financially exhausting, especially with all of this corona business, but I know it's where I need to be right now. When people ask how long I plan on staying home, I tell them I plan to go back to Korea in August or September. It gives me something to look forward to and it makes others feel more comfortable if I have a plan.
But if we're being real here, I probably won't be going back to Korea this fall. Others are more hopeful about my uncle's recovery, but from where I'm standing it looks like it'll be a slow and steady decline, and I'll be needed even more then. Of course I hope God is real and he's in the mood to work some miracles, but nothing is for certain and I can't be signing any year long contracts anytime soon.
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| spending time mainly in bed or on the front porch |
For a couple days in self-isolation I was seriously considering becoming a teacher. I would love to teach English literature and I love working with kids, but I also know that the burnout rate for that job is so high. Plus, I would have to stay in the US awhile to become a licensed teacher, and I don't want to do that for a job that I'm not sure about doing long-term.
Being a travel blogger sounds cool, but I know I don't have the self-motivation or the ego for that. I want to talk about my FEELINGS, not boring stuff like "How to Spend 24 Hours in Busan". Anything that would be described as "content" is mindnumbingly boring to actually write. Also, I feel like a huge dumbass every time I post on here. The only thing more embarrassing than having a blog is having a blog that no one reads.
I love reading, but who's going to pay me to read all day?
I thought about the Peace Corps, but the thought of spending two years of my twenties in a super isolated community for a resume booster in a field I'm not even sure I want to pursue is probably not the best idea. Plus, with these family health issues I don't think I can be away for 27 months with no simple way of coming back.
I want to write novels, but I know that that isn't a stable or guaranteed job, so that needs to be something I do on the side. I'm close to finishing Draft 1 of a promising story, so hopefully I finish that during this sedentary time.
I don't want to go to grad school anytime soon. The thought of spending all that money and two years in one place makes me physically recoil.
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| trying to take cute photos on my first weekend in Jinju, March 2019 |
Things I DO know for sure: I want to keep traveling and living in different countries. I don't want to start a career anytime soon, because that would impede on my flexibility to travel. I want to write, but I don't have enough life experiences yet. Or I do, but I know I need to live way more life.
So what WILL I do with all my time in quarantine and while I'm home for the foreseeable future? I'm going to read a lot and try to finish writing a draft of this novel. I also realized I haven't really written about my ACTUAL travels, so maybe I'll go through my photos and post little snippets, quit bitching on this blog and actually post about travel. Yeah, I'll do that.