I'm leaving Korea, a fact that I should probably have led with instead of writing about my feelings.
I had every intention to stay a second year, to move schools to work at a kindergarten and work with my friend and fall in love with adorable Korean children. That was how my 2020 was supposed to play out.
At the end of December we found out my uncle has brain cancer. It's not one of those "Get Well Soon!" and "Stay Strong! You Can Do This!" tumors. It's a matter of time tumor.
No one's forcing me to come home, but I know where I'm needed. Korea loves me but Korea doesn't need me. I COULD stay, but I know myself. I'd be a worried wreck and crying all the time and feeling sorry for myself on top of feeling sorry for my family.
I like being useful so I must go home.
I'm sure I'll come back to Korea someday, whether as soon as this fall or 50 years from now when I've forgotten everything except annyeonghasaeyo.
So this post is sad, but also a reminder to live your goddamn life. You could do everything the way you're supposed to do and still get brain cancer at 42 so you might as do whatever you want while you can.
I have no idea if I'm going to write on this blog when I'm home. I hate writing for my travel (slash book slash feelings slash whatever) blog when I'm in America. I have lots of stories and lots of pictures to share from my time in Korea though, so I'll probably retroactively post, the way I do with my Instagram. Never post anything in real time, baby!
I have a few travel plans in the works (Jeju Island, Japan, maybe Vietnam) before I return to the motherland. My life isn't stopping or pausing just because I'll be home, a fact I've had to remind myself of a few times. This is my life, this is happening. I can't believe this is happening. This shouldn't be happening.